Summary of Yesterday, in style of Beowulf

(I imagine Beowulf to have originally been told by a big fat guy with huge beard, in which remnants of that day’s feast still hung. The translation has all sorts of funny spaces in the middle of lines and stuff, so read with your imagination. Think flickering torches and feminine monsters named Grendel.)

Yesterday was Latin Day, Drenchy Day.
Arrived, gravitated towared the donuts
Pastries, and chowder.
O, white salty cream with tendons
of Clams, Chewy, scattered with little
potato chunks Duck-like raincoat proved
wimpy as Harmy quickly sogged as she searched
for the Certamen Team

Team found, partially, with substitutions,
Amity dominated in Grammar
“Ubi sum?” quoth we, but as questions
regarding Cerebus and Apollo cropped
Up, our score went down, down

Day proceeded, Drenching, pouring
Dented by drops from treeses, the streets
became unfriendly to porus sneakers
All were magnetised to the pavilion
Holy shrine of warm liquid and
Corn, chicken, cholesterol
Though, ice cream was consumed
not by me, to later regret

A Tenor sang the poems of Catallus
Poor idiot, with a mistress that
did it with 80 other guys, probably
All the latin teachers were scurrying
around, around, mingling, mingling
Sightings of Ms. Goetz
Perhaps she can now teach better than a goat

Returned to school; warm garments donned
We ate Cara’s cookies
Poor cookies Destined for the
non-green stomach of another
Ended up in Asian Club’s
Track team did funny jumps across hall
And also consumed cookies
Sorta. And when Harmy got home
The sun came out.


8 thoughts on “PV=nRT

  1. Yonder feat of poesy doth turn my kidney into a bunch of roses.
    Omg, Beowulf, yay! Never read it. but I’m assuming it’s all cool in that cool ancient literature way. Is it like that, or am I just nuts?

  2. Amanda, ventus sub alas meas es.
    You know? That song?
    Did you ever know that you’re my hero,
    and ev’rything I would like to be?
    I can fly higher than an eagle,
    ’cause you are the wind beneath my wings.

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