The rapture, whatever it might be (I thought it was an internet meme but apparently some people are actually serious about it?), didn’t happen, but I did have some very vivid dreams last night.
I know I’ve just set up the expectation that I now tell you about some of those dreams, but I can’t, because slightly after middle school (which can be considered a form of trauma in itself), I shed the ability to remember dreams.
Well, actually, I’ve managed to hang on to the very last dream that I had. Think of those starvation situations, for example, the final jail cell in 1984, where even a crust of bread becomes object of worship.
Now think of pandas and bunnies and cute chickens and any animal with a bit of cute cachet. They’re all staying at a room in the Westin, but seem to be on a very bland diet. Then one of the creatures finds a beautiful, evenly-ripened bunch of bananas. It earns the same admiration as the crust of bread did in 1984. As it approaches, an alarm suddenly goes off.
Now the camera cuts to this sinister-looking furry animal. I couldn’t tell if it was a small furry white dog with big black eyes or an owl of similar description. This is clearly the evil mastermind, perhaps even the master of the cute animals. From his headquarters and over a bank of video feeds, he says something like “Step away from the fruit. Step away from the fruit.” More creative and less stereotypical, of course.
Then all the little animals begin to imagine the consequences if they refuse to step away. They are all holding little bits of banana, but pinned to the walls with thousands of tiny feathery pins, presumably poison darts. They’re kind of wide-eyed, whether on account of the neurotoxins or the sweetness of the banana.