Our team is made of heroes bold / Who aren’t afraid to try

Senior week has been a BLAST. Tonight was Campus Dance–Lincoln Field and the Main Green are strung up with thousands of glowing lanterns, alumni from way way back return for festivities and memories, etc. It’s been good.

But for unknown reasons I was off-and-on grumpy tonight (sorry), which leads to the following observation:

Campus Dance is 10000+ people, and I’d estimate that there were at least 5000 people who are still there at 1 am, when the dance was over. This is the population of a small town spewing onto a very small street with very few places still open.

Brown, did you think about crowd control? How about town-gown relations? Maybe give the businesses a heads up? Devise a clever way to make people trickle instead of gush out? Provide snacks and water instead of an arcane system of drinks tokens and some hidden place where pizza could be had (for one drink token that could take a long time to buy)? You hired all those skilled bartenders but most people just got beer. Had you provided some snacks and water (after all, you did charge $20/guest), 5000 hungry thirsty people wouldn’t have come gushing out of every orifice.

Because, you know, the better experience these returning alums have this weekend, the more money they give. Mobbed Antonio’s/Nice  Slice/pizza cone place (about the problems of which I opine below)? Probably leads to a sub-par experience.

Problems with the pizza cone place:

  1. It’s usually a bad idea to have people ordering, paying, and picking up at basically the same place. I don’t have a good explanation, except that your system demonstrated tonight that it held up very badly to volume, whereas places that split up ordering, paying, and picking up (MCD, most fast food joints, Antonio’s, East Side Pocket), seem to handle volume more gracefully. Maybe you can’t tell because you normally have no customers.
  2. Look, I can’t even remember your store’s name! I have to refer to you as “the pizza cone place”! That’s not good enough! Brand yourselves already!
  3. Why the hell are you selling flat (normal slice) pizzas? Not only does this make your reheating system awkward (flat pizzas don’t take as long, whereas cones take a very long time to reheat), but it’s also putting you into a market where you can’t stand to compete, one already occupied by Antonio’s and Nice Slice. They’ve innovative toppings and memorable brands. Your prices aren’t much better, and your pizza is pasty.
  4. Calzones? Was that a brief failed experiment or something?
  5. The product is awkward. There’s not a good way to carry multiple cones without looking like a total glutton, double-fisting the cheese. Actually I think I saw the guy wrap up two cones and stick them in a paper bag, so that’s alright, but then you run the risk of fillings all falling out.
  6. Your cashier resembles a ditzy mail-order bride, but this my northern prejudice speaking.
  7. You have bar/counter seating that faces the window in an elevated storefront. Consider painting in a privacy panel so that people don’t have to worry about giving free upskirt/kilt shots to Thayer.

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